A very powerful statement and a topic which comes up time and time again both during my consultation sessions, and also my yoga classes.
Not many people think of themselves from a third party point of view - to look at oneself as an observer, a friend, perhaps even a parent. Hint hint - this is much easier to accomplish when you start meditating!
To become the observer of one self, gives you the ability to really look at how you treat YOU.
How do you speak to yourself day to day? Do you belittle yourself? What choice of words do you use when you make mistakes, feel embarrassed, shame or guilt?
Would you ever speak like that to someone else you love? Think about it.
How do you treat your physical self? Do you listen to your intuition about how you feel and act accordingly? Or do you push yourself when you’re tired, party too hard when you know you need a break, eat food which constantly makes you feel sluggish and gross just because you can’t seem to get out of the hole you’ve placed yourself in?
Why? Why don’t you take care of you?
What about your mind? How does it feel?
How does having constructive conversation feel to you… perhaps there are people who are treating you in a way which just feels ‘icky’ and you can’t speak up. Why is this? A fear of judgement?
When you start to observe these things (even write them all down), you start to realise that you would never treat someone else in this way… so why are you doing it to yourself?
I invite you to sit with this question - the answer probably won’t come to you immediately but to just sit with it for a few days, maybe a few weeks and see what parts of you you are resisting or maybe not proud of.
Many women I work with come to see me because of chronic anxiety - a feeling of being ‘out of control’ and a franticness which accompanies this.
Their symptoms will be vast and varied, but usually comprise of an accumulation of the following:
More often than not (and what I have seen time and time again in my clinic), is the realisation at the end of the day that the reason we treat ourselves in this way is because we are resisting parts of ourselves which are not proud of.
And we all know that what resists, persists.
We feel embarrassment, shame, guilt -- so we punish ourselves, or we bury the emotions, or we project it onto someone or something else. Because hey… that’s easier in the moment right?
But what about if we learnt to love and care for the parts of us which are ‘broken’? The parts of us which have experienced trauma, pain, longing, embarrassment? The part of us which does get ‘out of control’ sometimes?
Realising that to love yourself means to love ALL OF YOU - not just the bits you think are ‘good’ or ‘perfect’.
Take the time to nurture the part/s of you which feels scared or afraid or the part who has made mistakes. Let her/him know that it’s OK to not have it together all the time because nobody does. Honour that side of you and invite them to the party - know that it’s easier together as one team.
It’s so important to stop working against ourselves, and to accept the reality that everyone has their stuff, everyone has their brokenness… and that’s perfectly ok. That’s what makes you, YOU.
If you’re keen to explore more elements of you and would like to book in for a consultation (either in Bali or via Skype), send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org